Skip to main content

A Series Of Rather Unfortunate Events

Okay, I'll make this short and sweet, mainly because I can barely believe I'm wasting valuable time that could be better spent pounding my forehead against a doorjamb or watching the second hand on a clock move.

But I digress, as I always do.

For your perusal, a rough, woefully incomplete timeline of a bizarre nature:

1. When it all began, it was pretty much common knowledge that Kevin Federline - henceforth referred to with the genius moniker K-Fed - was a no-talent layabout that lucked out; in its pure essence, his story was the equivalent of your cousin Chauncey hitting the lottery.

2. We held off making uninformed, snap judgements until ...



... his complete lack of talent was confirmed.

3. Flash-forward: Britney and K-Fed split up. And amazingly enough, if you can believe it, at this point we still had a positivish impression of Britney.

4. Britney self-destructed on a scale heretofore unimagined. (Google "Britney Spears" and you'll find all you need to know; the mountain of evidence is staggering.)

5. I know I'm jumping ahead here, but really, who cares. Long story short, Britney lost total custody of her kids today.

6. Since she is such a daily trainwreck - again, with literally scads of media evidence to confirm it - we find ourselves generally on bended knee and grateful as a nation that K-Fed has custody of the kids.

7. End result? We discover K-Fed DOES have talent, just not the rapping or musical kind. His talent is being - hands down - a better parent than crazy, idiotic, baby-almost-dropping, moppet-in-lap-illegally-while-driving, panties-less Britney.

Yay K-Fed.

*sigh*

I really need a shower now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ROCK'N'ROLL VAMPIRES FROM OUTER SPACE!

Ever find something you did a long time ago and realize that you don't remember doing it at all?

No? Then I guess I am alone. Again. Naturally.

So I was just looking through some old Word files when I came upon what looks to be a fabulous opening to a short story. Check it out:


***************


ROCK’N’ROLL VAMPIRES FROM OUTER SPACE

Jimmy Blasewell stood behind the counter, eyeing the scraggly dude in the worn Army jacket down the chip aisle.


***************


That's all there was in the Word file. Now I'm pissed that I never finished it because that's a story I'd really like to read.

TURNAROUND JUMP SHOT IT'S EVERYBODY'S JUMP START

Lord help me but it's time to write at length about a subject no one but me, Paul Simon and possibly Rick Springfield care about. I'm surprised no one's covered it; there's not a lot of awareness about it quite frankly. But if I and two certified legends care about it, there's no doubt that it deserves to be discussed.
At length.
So here we go: ****redacted****
Thank God it's out there now for everyone to see. No turning back now.